Friday, March 6, 2009

Reservation Chic

You know who I hate? Teenagers. And while I should say "Australian teenagers" to stay in keeping with the theme of this blog, my dislike of them probably has no geographic boundaries. And to be fair, I didn't like myself as a teenager either, so it's not like I'm just being Old. You just don't see that many kids in New York. It's not a kids' place. In Melbourne, they're everywhere. And for some reason they never have parents.

The main thing I don't like about teenagers is how they look, since I rarely engage with them otherwise — I cross their path while they're loitering in front of Flinders Street Station, or chewing with their mouths open in the Bourke Street Mall. I don't mind the nerdy ones, or even the ones that think they're Goth, because they're probably having a shit time just living if they're wearing a Bullet for My Valentine tee-shirt.

It's the Myer Basement audience; the loud, screechy ones that shop at Supré whom I find the worst. They're the over-confident, pancake makeup-wearing girls and their scaled-up jock-type boy counterparts that cause my ovaries to shrivel. It's not that I think my kid would be like this; it's that I wouldn't want to subject her to this.

I've written about Myer windows before. So this caught my attention the other day. It's a crap picture, but in case you're squinting ... trying to see if ... is that a... Yes. It's a teepee in the display window. With black mannequins wearing tee-shirts with horses and leather tassels and some other 'Native American-inspired' bullshit. Oh, and stereo speakers. And a picnic hamper. And stumps of wood for kneeling. And a tartan blanket. It's so historically adept it blows my mind. And right next door at Supré?


We couldn't be caught being original, could we?

For those of you who think I might be exaggerating or overreacting to how ridiculous this new trend — which will invariably attract the most vapid of the teenaged sect — imagine the following scenario:

Say you're Australian and you've gone to the States on holiday. Say you're in Chicago. (It's roughly the same size as Melbourne.) You're walking down Michigan Avenue, which is the main shopping strip in the city, and in the window of Macy's you see this:

Yes. It's the same thing.


amanda said...

I hate Aussie teens too. I was one but I really don't remember being so obnoxious. In fact I think I was probably timid in comparison. There is nothing worse then a group of drunk teens on a tram late at night...

Anyway I am not sure what the point of this comment was... i feel better having vented.

pat said...

Oh my. I am so glad someone else noticed this native American shit everywhere. I was just in Target and it was blowing my mind.

Oh and hello, I'm Patrick, Penny told me you liked my article and sent me here.

I like your blog and your website is pretty incredible too!

E-Claire said...

Ah *applause*. Agreed on all points. Enjoying your blog, will be back for more!

Anonymous said...

Nick has met his match! Of course I think he's brilliant, and despite his claim to be grammatically incorrect most of the time, he does very well. I've really enjoyed your blog, wish you a happy visit in New York, and look forward to more dueling in the future.
Rosemary Gardner, Mpls
Nick's nuttier parent!

Nickolas said...

I'm pissed in the Adelaide airport! Are you ready to start this blog thing up again?

Nickolas said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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