Thursday, December 20, 2007

Land of the Rising Pun

I have to admit, I really appreciate the Australians' love for a terrible pun. Which is why I was really excited when I started noticing how many small Australian businesses incorporate puns into their business names. There's something sweet and self-deprecating about it that I can't help but exploit and make fun of.

Hair salons take the cake for the most pun-tastic titles. Today, for example, I'm gettin' my roots did at a place called "Headmasters," which is a one-two punch because it's hair school as well as a salon. Heading Out claims to be winner of Australian Creative Colourists of the year, which makes me think of how my mother politely describes things she thinks are fucking terrible as "creative" or "interesting". Other awesome hair salons are Hair Apparent, Fringe Benefits, Hairhouse (I assume this is playing off 'whorehouse'?) and my own personal fave, Curl Up n' Dye.





There's a certain cheesy innocence about restaurants with punny names—like, you know not to expect greatness but it will probably be entertaining, well-intentioned and slightly annoying, like mildly retarded cousins. Lord of the Fries is the greatest vegetarian hangover food Melbourne has to offer. And I've never been to Wok around the Clock but in my head when creepy '50s Chinese restaurant meets Happy Days, everyone wins. But then it all gets ruined by places like this monstrosity, Feddish, which is a restaurant in Fed Square that is undoubtedly filled with cunts.

There's a bar in Fitzroy called Lambs Go Bar which doesn't translate into American so I guess I don't feel like it counts, and there's Lentil as Anything but I didn't get that one until I found out there's a band called Mental as Anything. Autobarn didn't seem like a pun to me until I heard someone say it out loud and I realized Aussies think Autobarn and the Autobahn are homonyms. Finally, the one that really, really still doesn't make any sense to me is this place Roozervelt's. Um. What?

Anyway, I'll leave you with my favorite two from the mattress category, Old King Coil and my favorite business pun of all time, Back to the Futon. I couldn't make this shit up.

15 comments:

Bo Bo said...

Carnegie has a good one.
The Steak Bank is a restaurant that took over the premises of the State Bank.
I don’t know why we do it to ourselves.

caff said...

A couple of Thai restaurant names in DC crack me up. Thai Tanium, Thaiphoon, and my personal favorite, Thai Tanic.

Just passing through...fun blog...

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

There's a salon on the east side (of detroit) called 'the G-spot', and their motto is, "if it ain't tight, it ain't right"

I have yet to go and get my hair did there...

Heidi said...

There's a pawn shop in Honolulu called "The Bag's End" which I guess isn't really a pun but pretty damn descriptive.

just me said...

I don't like futons

but I'd buy one at a store called that

no questions asked.

Mark, Sydney said...

Surely it's about time someone used 'Thai Nee Tihm' or 'Siam Legend'?

BB said...

There's a hair place in my hometown called "We'll blow your top." No, for reals.

Colleen said...

in response to just me's comment, i don't like hot dogs. this will only make sense to ecs and several other humans right now.

and in response to sarah's, there is a g spot here in baton rouge, also, but it is for Gs. like gangstas. it's hip hop wear.

Scal said...

There's a "G-Spot" nightclub in Melbourne too - it's in a laneway (although, unlike other laneway bars, it's not hip) and its motto is something like "come when you find it".

Colleen said...

i just looked at this again and thought "rooservelts" said "boozervelts."
someone needs to start a bar and call it that.

Dotes. said...

Biz, you have no idea how hard I am cracking up at a quiet coffee shop right now reading this shit. Honestly, for each place of business in bold, I just imagined Ed saying it to see if the pun would make better sense. It toads worked.

ecs said...

Thai Nee Tihm. [slow claps] Brilliant. Part II to this series coming soon, folks.

dotes. said...

Biz-- one more thing. Kyle wants to know if he's the mildly retarded cousin you're referring to.

Anonymous said...

Want to see big tits movies and pictures...CLICK HERE